The world through my eyes...

The Selfie.

I’m not sure where to start. After two days of taking photos of myself I still do not see what the overall point is. Yeah, I got a lot more notifications than I ever have on my FB but only because other people who also do not see the point of the selfie were pissing themselves at the ridiculousness of my project.

Ridiculous, that is the best word I can think of that defines the way I feel about selfies.

When I see an average Selfie I automatically think “Fuck off”. I don’t want to see someone’s head over and over again in a variety of equally mundane activities. If that were the case, I would see them in person. Then again, who wants to hang out with someone who is continually taking photos? Not me. It’s rude and isolating. You cannot sustain an engagement on a social level with a person who is constantly placing a smart phone in between you and them unless of course you yourself enjoy taking 10 happy snaps within half an hour. Spending time with a person who values digital images over the company of their friends is pointless. These people should just stay at home in front of their computers rather than stepping outside into the real world. A world where memories are built from experience and remembered for the way you felt, not how it looked on a screen.

I admit- I have been known to take the odd selfie but only if I have a reason to do so. For example- I’m at a wedding and want to show myself off a bit. Go me!  I don’t however sit in my lounge room taking photos of myself to upload onto Facebook. What is worse than doing that? Taking a variety of photos of myself sitting in my lounge room and uploading them all at the same time so I have 8 photos of myself in a row that all look the same.

Another thing that shits me- the couple selfie. I have taken a few couple selfies. A FEW COUPLE SELFIES. There are people out there who feel the need to take a billion of these things. For FUCK SAKE! Yes- we know you have a boyfriend/girlfriend. We do not however need to see your freaking heads every time we log in to Facebook. Why? Because the position of those heads never changes. It’s like taking a series of photos of mannequins with different clothes on. In the couple selfie there is always one person who is beaming from ear to ear and you can clearly tell that the other is sitting there thinking “Oh fuck me, another fucking photo. For god sake, how many freakin photos do you need? Man people are gonna think I’m such a dick when they see these”… and you’re right- we do think you’re a dick. We think you’re a dick for allowing your other half to put this shit on FB. Having more than 10 couple selfies screams relationship issues. Using FB as a way of validating your relationship because let’s face it- if the most exciting thing you can think of doing together is taking photos of yourselves- your relationship must really be in the shite house.

I can appreciate a warranted Selfie just like I could appreciate a diamond in a coal mine. They’re very rare and sometimes precious. They convey some kind of meaning and their context is generally interesting for others to look at. Unwarranted selfies are those which only have one person in mind and that is the person in the photograph. Other people are of course considered in the selfie process but only because individuals who regularly take these photos of themselves want two things- attention and validation. One word screams into my mind when I read that last sentence- INSECURITY.

It is in our nature as human beings to value what other people think of us. We are a competitive species and attention feeds our egos, this is not always a bad thing. We propel ourselves forward when we have enough confidence in ourselves to do so and sometimes confidence is bred through compliments.

When another person tells you that you look pretty or skinny or beautiful you are more likely to believe it for yourself because comments such as those make you feel good. Feeling good is a wonderful thing.  However, each of us has an internal system of doubt which can sometimes act as a protagonist to improve ourselves in order to grow. Self reflection can prove to be a powerful thing especially if you know how to use it to give yourself confidence without the input of others. It is my belief that some people do not know how to overcome their own doubts about themselves without the validation of other people. They lack this internal mechanism.

Facebook allows people to seek this validation at any time of day and at any moment. You’re feeling down or ugly? Take a photo of yourself looking pretty and happy and people might like it. They may even comment on the photo and tell you how wonderful you look or how much fun you look like you are having thus your feathers remain firmly fluffed. Although appearances can be very deceiving.

I have come up with a little experiment for those who are selfie obsessed. Go through your FB photos and find a selfie (this shouldn’t be hard). Now, take note of how many people ‘liked’ that photo and how many people commented. Now, take a look at how many FB friends you have (I’m guessing it would be over 500 because selfie obsessed people generally add anyone and everyone to their FB friends list= more attention). Subtract the number of people who liked and commented from your total amount of FB friends and the number you’re left with is the number of people who DONT GIVE A SHIT.

My favourite type of selfie is the mirror shot. What genius thought of that? Standing in front of a mirror and taking a photo of yourself puts Narcissus to shame. For those of you that think your appearance in these photos is admired- think again. You look like a loser and the more of these photos you post- the uglier you become as a person.

The “Look at me I’m walking somewhere” selfie. News flash- a lot of people walk places. I’m pretty sure it’s an evolutionary thing. I don’t know about you guys but I’ve been walking for ages. Most of us have legs and most of us have feet. When I walk, I like to do it with shoes on. Unless of course I’m at the beach, then I’ll wear thongs and take them off so I can feel the sand in my toes. I also like yogging (as Ron Burgundy would say), it’s kind of like walking but faster. I wear shoes when I do this as well. Now you may think there is no point to this paragraph and congratulations you are correct. Just as the selfie in question- there is no point. You just wasted 30 seconds reading this just like you’ll waste 30 seconds of time looking at a photo of what I have just described if one of your FB friends decide to upload one of these photos.

Moving on.

The food selfie. I love food. It’s awesome. I sometimes take photos of the food I have cooked and put it on FB. Why? Because I fucking can and because I am an overall amazing cook and I’m trying to make you all jealous. Do I think it’s ok to take photos of myself eating food? No. Why? Because EVERYONE EATS FOOD. If I wanted to see someone shoving food into their gob I would watch Kobayashi VS a Bear on YouTube- it’s much more entertaining than ten photos containing someone’s head and a bowl.

The “head” selfie. This generally contains someone’s head and not much else. I won’t go into this one because all I have to say to people who take these selfies is this- you’re a douche.

So WHY do people take these photos of themselves and still believe that nobody is secretly taking the shite out of them? Here are a few stabs in the dark-

·         Boredom

·         Because the devil told them to

·         No friends

·         Relationship issues

·         Insecurity about appearance/popularity levels

·         Constant need for attention and validation

·         A dingo ate their baby

·         Denial

·         They’ve been told the world is going to end at the end of 2012 so they’re compiling the ultimate FB time capsule which will contain a variety of photos of themselves so that when they are unthawed from their cryogenic chamber in 2098 the aliens will know who they are.

Whats worse than a selfie? People who actually fucking like to look at them. You are enablers and I hate you. Stop it. Please stop making these people feel like their selfies are appreciated. I beg you.

In regard to the selfie- I have simply scratched the surface. I truly believe that selfies are painful so just like those people at Kony- I wish to put a stop to this social media torture being inflicted upon us anti-selfieites. STOP THE SELFIE. If you see a selfie- mock the shit out of it. Tell the person in the selfie that their photos are causing your mental health to deteriorate at great speed and you just can’t sit back and what as they do this to themselves and others.

Or you could just do what I do and piss yourself laughing. Selfie people can be very entertaining which is the reason I don’t delete them from my FB friends. Up until this point- I have mocked them in private but now they’ll all know what I really think and that makes me smile a little. These data hogging freaks are somewhat lovable in their self absorbed messiness.

A final note- If you are with me in person and you see a great opportunity for a selfie- you might want to refrain. It could result in your smart phone feeling the wrath of my selfie hate and we all know that if that actually happened to a selfie freak- the world may implode.

I read a quote from an unknown source today that said “A city is a community where everyone is lonesome together”.

As I sat there checking my Facebook account to see what the rest of my “friends” were up to at this ridiculous hour (approximately 3am) I began to wonder if this was it. Is this really what society is or HAS turned in to? An endless realm of communication with no real connection?

Here we are, surrounded by thousands of people and yet it seems that a vast majority of us really have no desire to speak to one another. We walk around with our ipods plugged into our ear sockets, our fingers furiously typing on the key pads of our mobile phones and our computers eagerly awaiting our next log in. Gone are the days where you could ask someone for directions. These days, they’ll most likely glare at you as you have interrupted their favourite song or made them lose their place in the text message they were reading.

With my computer on my lap and phone at my side I realise that I am no doubt SURROUNDED by ways in which to reach the outside world, yet is this merely a substitute for face to face interaction?

I understand that our world is now full of deadlines, alarm clocks and overwhelming pressure as a result of work and other commitments but why is it that a person can spend three hours online but can’t find the time to meet up in person? Has that very concept become taboo?

Sure, online communities and communication devices can be very useful. For example, if I want to contact my brother who is jet-setting all over the country side, the only real way of doing so would be to send him a message on Facebook. I can see his photos, what he is up to, where he is etc. It is nice to stay in touch and to be kept in the loop.

In these cases, I understand.

But just because I am “friends” with someone in cyberspace- does this mean I am “friends” with them in real life? Is it possible to know everything about a person without having said three SPOKEN words to them? I think not. Although the internet is trying to prove me wrong.

I once “knew “ a girl who posted EVERYTHING online. What she ate for breakfast. Every minute detail about her latest relationship AND its ultimate demise. She didn’t think twice about sharing her deepest, most heart felt thoughts through ranting blogs and status updates and even though I knew all of this about her, her hopes, desires, her dealings with depression, suicide attempts and the like, when I saw her in person, I felt I had nothing to say to her, in fact, I felt rather awkward around her. Do I ask her if she is ok? Or do I simply pretend I hadn’t read her blogs? It came as quite a shock to me that she also had nothing to say. This person, who pours her heart out on the internet cant manage to mutter one sentence in real life. Maybe she had forgotton how? It is indeed strange that I knew all about her with the exception of the simple things about a person that to me, makes them who they are.

What do you say to someone who you know so much and so little about?

Even though I am an avid user of the internet and regularly check my accounts, for me, nothing will ever beat catching up with a friend for coffee, going for a beer and having a good “chin wag”.  You can’t replace human emotion and expression with any other medium and the only real way to obtain these two traits in another person is to converse with them.

I am scared for the future of this society in which we live. I am scared that verbal communication is going to be forced into taking the back seat. The good old phone call is even being pushed aside by texting. Ultimately, I am scared that we, as a society, have immersed ourselves so deeply within a technological universe that we are going to miss out on experiencing it.

But who am I to talk?